I am not even so sure why myself has choose to be with him while I sensationally aware that I am not that crazy about him. The feeling was completely different from when I was with Phil, I could talk with him freely and just simply ask the questions I want to. Is it because I do fully understand what I am doing and know how it is going to end? But I did know Phil was not for me from the very beginning and look at the fact that I did not feel that strong for Phil either at first but somehow for some unknown reason I had been trying to pursued myself to. Am I going to do the same thig over again with Da-shuan? How exactly do I feel about Da-shuan? Are you sure he has been trying to cheat on you even not consciously? u call yourself an idealist and pursuing the eternal love and relationship but what u are doing to yourself right now is totally opposite, are you sure you are not out of conscious or entirely lost again? Wasn;t he trying to convince yourself and even himself to live at presence in order to give himself a reason to betray his wife? How do you know he has only made an exception for you? Sharlin please stay fully conscious and sensible on this matter as you know you have no time either energy to bear any heartbroken. You are young and fairly attractive, why will you ever choose to stuck yourself with a man, who is not your type? Do you fully believe in what he has told you? Maybe he even lied to himself anyway so how do you be so certain he is not lying on you? So tell me what I shall do next? Stop from seeing him? Is that what you want? But he is at least right with one thing that he does make slightly more effort to speak with me…particularly rare for someone like him who is so devoted into his career. Confront your own feeling, if you want to do it, just do it but promise me one thing that don’t put yourself in trouble anymore. Just have a fun time and enjoy yourself. Follow your heart and stay focused on your future. Just remember life is all about the choices you have made for yourself , on the other word life is what you have drawn to yourself. If you want to be happy, just think you are happy.. live from your dream and make the best out of every single moment. It is my moment, it is my perfect moment with you.
Ps. His son’s name is also ryan, what a small world!! I sincerely hope both of the ryan I have known in my life would be happy ever after and dream will come true for them.
