england and the queen

is it really true that perhapes british queen has been brought up to conceal their own feeling and make duty to come to the first place? well from my first year experience in britian though during my volunteering that once the supervisor said to me that * you must be professional to make your personal attachment to the residents stay out of the business* , that was when i was so much emotional attached to the ladies i looked after. too much personal feeling might give the ladies i took care a tough time to adopt to the new carer when i leave...that was what she quoted to me. concealing your own feeling is really waht british people do or what they used to do? can we really categorize people based on their nationalities? don;t we conceal our feeling as well? well...at least i do...my diginty is so high that it is not easy to show my tender spot in front of people though particularly when it comes to something i feel pround of but turned out quite oppposite.

why are british like? after living in uk for 3 years, i would not say i know the culture well enough but i never really will call them cold-shoulder persons though at least most of people i have encountered are very kind and honest. some people may appreciate american;s passion but for me it is a bit fake somehow as in the bottom of their heart do they really have the love or passsion they show to othersss??? anyway going to grab a chance to discuss about the qurstion with Phil and find out what exactly british people believe who they are.

the taste of india

indian believe the third eye can make you look clear of the world; destruction is a good thing which ends one cycle and good thing can begin. hard to believe deep in the culture indians are well prepared to reset their lives again to pursume better life in the new beginning. that really recalls me of the book written by the famous japanese consultant about resetting life. people are that kind of animal who will be so much used to the comfort they have in present and get freaked out of the changes which may turn their lives up side down by any chance. but somehow we may have subconsiously dismiss something more importat and end up munipulating ourselves to do something totally against our will and mopping around to complain about life. what if the indian god of destruction work on me right now, will i feel better to step out of my little comfort and go on the jouney of spiritual quest again?

when i close my eyes and allow my nose to deeply inhale the smell of the indian incense sticks, my head is picturing how indian , a country totally opposites from what i may know will teach me about the life. why am i not staying with family? why did i start to shut down my heart and rejects different things? would i also refuse to soak myself in their holy river if i was in india now?

however the indian movie *outsource* has told me a few lessons:
lesson one: close ur eyes and see things through your third eye
lesson two: destruction can be a good thing. don;t be afraid to reset my life
lesson three: never try to apply your thinking to others. when you are in rome, being a roman.
lesson four: learn to appreciate different cultures and embrase it from the deep down of your heart
lesson five: believing in people
lesson six: love everyone around you

by the way taking every single day as your last day, what will you do if you only have one day to live in the world? -----i will say i will use all my heart to love everyone around me and how about u?

younger me VS elder me

when was the last time i just stepped out of the door and traveled to where my heart told me to ? when was the last time i felt fearless and simply follow my heart? do you still remember the reckless sharlin who was fearless and completely disregard people's comments but her own heart? when was the last time she sent herself free in the spring of the desert? has she lost herself and become too timid to do what she wants? is she just wasting her life worrying about how to cover the life expense and how much she could make without quitting the job without paying more attention to what exactly she loves best? Have I lost myself??????

mam asked me when exactly i am planning to attend australia work and travel programm when we were waitting outside of the train station last sunday. i was guttered to give a proper answer as the fear of losing something was sailing around the bottom of my heart. ha..i gradually become exactly that kind of coward who only has big dream but lacking of execution..i am really feeling so ashamed of myself right now. how did i start to forget what i said to Chris( the old randon american gentleman i met in scotland) that i would keep walking forward without fear even the future is unclear? do you still the time you still smiled even you did not know where to stay for the nite? security was bullshit but freedom was slogan...but you have totally changed into someone who is totally a sheep like...no difference from the others.

why are you worrying about where to locate your expensive furniture when you go out to travel? why are you worrying about where to find a job when you return? with these much of worry ahead you, you could go nowhere and you will never grow in this way...totally out of question. but why are you doing this ?

when realsharlin VS more-experienced and conscious sharlin, who will win the battle? what will be the best solution for both?

Appreciation

after speaking to the gentleman from downstair, i realize that i might have forgotten to appreciate the priviliage and convenience i have been offered in daily basis and somehow taken everything for granted subconciously. human being tend to feel victimized for both of what they have encountered or given and in quote dubious sense we have choosed to ignore what we have been offered. i wonder if i am also one of those bastards who forget to thank for everything i have already had on my hand but instead shall just stop myself from mopping around what i am short of then. from now on, i am pushing myself to only appreciate for everything, despite goodness or badness and stop complaining about how miserable life is.

New Habit one: Learn to appreciate!! and stop complaining