Jesus is called Emmanuel which means "God-with-us" (see Matthew 1: 22-23). The great paradox of Jesus' life is that he, whose words and actions are in no way influenced by human blame or praise but are completely dependent on God's will, is more "with" us than any other human being.
Jesus' compassion, his deep feeling-with us, is possible because his life is guided not by human respect but only by the love of his heavenly Father. Indeed, Jesus is free to love us because he is not dependent on our love.--emeditation from Henri Nouwen
constantly i find myself ending up feeling hurt and rejected after realizing maybe the so-called good friends i have poured in so much effort for do not really care about me as much as i care about them, and for the friends who really care about me, i seem to take them for granted and give them no concern whatsever at all. my sinful nature is disturbing and haunting me like endless nightmare, the feeling of rejection and bitter are so great that i can barely stand to look at myself. even with the clear understanding that i shall expect nothing in return and it is necessary to love the people who love me back but my actions and thoughts are in vain.
the quote from Henri really touched my heart as i shall depend simply and sololy on God's love for me other than other people's love. the reason i cant really love others as myself is maybe because more or less subconsciously that i expect their love in return. God loves us so we are ought to love one and another. our love and feeling maybe depend on God to provide other than on people.
Father help me to love others simply because you have already loved me. help me to rely on you to provide other than depending on others. help me to love, help me to live a life to glorify your name and put smile on your face. help me to spend my time as the last moment. help me to live a life to fix my gazes on You only , not this passing world. i love YOU,more than anything. amen
